Why words matter, part 1

Can I be totally honest with you?

I’ve been considering writing this post for quite some time and had intended to write it on Facebook. Then this morning as I sat down to put my thoughts together, Facebook didn’t feel like right medium. I toyed with the idea of only sending it to my email list but that didn’t feel quite right, either. So, I’ve decided to write it here and share it in those other places.

Over the past several months, I’ve become disillusioned with much of the coaching industry AND much of the spirituality community. At first, my disillusionment flip flopped back and forth between the two until more recently when I began to realize that they are tied together, hand in hand. Because, for me, they are not two separate pieces but fully infused into one another and into my life’s work.

What has me so disappointed about these two integral parts of my world?

In a word: language.

I’m so tired of the language used in both the coaching and spiritual communities that creates division and scarcity. Words may seem innocuous at first glance but if we really take the time to think and to understand the tactics used – mainly through language – it becomes clear that it’s real function is to control and manipulate. It’s real function is to create separation between “the haves and the have nots” as it were. To pit one group against another.

So, my quest is to shed some light on these spaces and create a sense of inclusion and community instead. To shift the language we are using to be less exclusive and more open. Less manipulative and more genuine.

Look – it’s time to stop talking about “charging your worth” – you can’t; you’re invaluable. There is no value you can place on who you ARE. You are priceless. Incalculable. Beyond compare. Here’s what you can do, though – charge what your time is worth and/or what your product or service is worth.

It’s time to stop talking about “having blocks” (around money, relationships, etc) and realize that you have blocks because you think have blocks. In other words, just like Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Stop erecting barriers within your mind (because the truth is – it’s all in your head). And instead of seeking out the blocks you have, create some new constructs by asking yourself things like – how would I like to feel? What would I really love to happen? And then ask yourself WHY.

Because when you find your true why – your reason for being – (which, by the way is also your purpose), one that is so moving, so exciting, so true for you that it pulls you out of bed every morning, your blocks and your excuses and the idea that you have to charge what you’re worth will disappear. Your why will be bigger than your fears.

Here’s the bottom line: it’s time to stop talking about things as if they’re outside of you. They’re not. Chaos in your inner world (your thoughts, your emotions, your desires) creates chaos in your outer world. What you see happening around you is a direct result of what’s happening within you.

And only you have the power to change that.

This is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg on language and the misconceptions and manipulation I see happening but I’m going to end this here for today. And I encourage you to take a real, deep look at the language you’re using.

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