ELEMENT ONE: Who You Are
What you hold within your heart is truly who you are. It is you at your innermost core. The you without masks and fears and judgments. Your purest essence. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve walked through fire to get where you are now – to BE who you are now.
And although you never really stop the self-development process – because life requires growth – in your process of discovering who you really are, you will create a foundation of authenticity that remains true to you throughout your lifetime.
Your heart is the essence of who you are. Your style. Your distinction. Your virtues and your moods and your nature. It is your compass. Your direct connection to the Divine.
So, I’ve called it heart because that is where your treasure is stored. Because you are valuable and worthy and whole just by fact that you were born. It’s where your presence lies. Where your entire being resides.
Understand that you are not broken. That your soul cannot be damaged or lost or hurt in any way. The idea of brokenness is a fallacy. It’s often a fallacy that leads you down a path of self-discovery so for now, it’s essential – though there will come time when that will not be the case.
And know that whatever you are here to do in this lifetime, you are qualified by Divine Power, Authority and Endorsement to accomplish. You do not need anything else. If you get nothing else out of this guidebook, please get that.
YOU are qualified to do whatever you dream by Divine Power, Authority and Endorsement – simply because of who you are.
Because god doesn’t call the qualified; he qualifies the called.
Your heart – who you are – is the foundation that will allow you to create the framework you need to fulfill your mission on this planet. It’s critical. You cannot circumvent it or shortcut it.
Because creating your legacy means living your life according to your own rules, your own values, your own desires. The desires and visions within your heart and soul. And now is the time to tap into that truth and hear what your intuition is telling you.
You get to decide what’s real and true for you at this point of your life. YOU make the choice to BE whomever you wish. It’s your choice alone. Regardless of your background or you circumstances or your situation, you do not have to live by default.
I won’t get too deeply into intuition here but know this: your intuition is the still small voice of god, of spirit, of source within your heart. It’s the wisdom of your soul. And it’s available to you 24/7 throughout your entire life. All you need to do is get quiet enough to hear it and then listen without fail. It will never steer you wrong. If you do that, you can be, do and have anything in life that you want.
Your vision requires that you embody who you are; that you embody your mission; that you allow the innermost core of who you are – your purest essence – to emerge fully into expression so that your vision can come through you.
Understand this too: your mission and vision is not of you; it is not of your making or your doing. It comes through you, directly from the Divine as a result of your BEING. Who you are is essential to it’s expression through you.
And as such, it requires alignment. It requires you to be wholeheartedly YOU. To bring to light what is stored within you. It requires you to share your truth unapologetically.
Your heart, then, is your character, your essence, your nature, your truth. It’s about continually removing the masks, peeling back the layers and allowing your deepest self to fully emerge. No more holding back. No more hiding.
Listen, this work – being a visionary leader – is not for the feint of heart. It requires courage and boldness and openness. It requires deep levels of vulnerability, of truth, of integrity. It requires expansive levels of love and taking chances.
In fact, you know what? It requires courageous levels of self-love.
Here’s the bottom line: your mission requires a self-love so pure, so deep, so true, so expansive, so powerful that it spills out of you and lights up the whole fucking world.
And one of the most powerful questions I ask my clients when we start working together is, “Who ARE you?”
I ask them to really sit with that question, to dive deeply into it, peeling back layers as they honestly get to know themselves on a profound level.
Often that one question is incredibly life changing. It frequently opens up a pathway to self-love that you may not have known before.
So, I’d like to ask YOU that now. . .
Who ARE you? At your innermost core, the most intimate level – who are you?
Take some time to be with that question before moving onto the next chapter.
I highly recommend you journal it out and then sit in silence (meditation, if that appeals to you) and consider the question even more deeply.
Then in the next chapter, we’ll talk about the 10 anchors, or foundations, of self that I’ve identified in my work with my clients which we are often called to develop as visionaries and leaders on a mission:
Mindset; Self-Awareness; Purpose & Meaning; Knowledge; Contribution; Spirit; Energy; Courage; Attitude and Service.
Each one of these is fundamental to your vision and in the chapter on Mission, we will expand on each of them. They are the framework that you’ll need to support your vision.
Before we get to that, though, let’s talk about one other thing that relates to heart and who you are:
I almost didn’t include anything else in this guide besides what I already mentioned above, but it’s so essential, I had to come back to add it for you. It became clear to me that this guidebook would not be complete without it.
At your innermost core – the soul, the essence of who you are – is pure and unconditional love. And it is the foundation of your entire being. It is completely essential to your life and to your mission while you’re here on this earth.
Because love and only love heals all wounds. Love is the greatest healer in the entire galaxy. And love is always the answer.
When you tap into that deep love within you, the love and light that comes straight from spirit, from source, it exemplifies and amplifies everything. And when you use your love as the foundation for your being, for your service, for your creativity and your power, there is nothing that can stop you from fulfilling your dreams and desires.
Listen – we’ve been conditioned to believe that love is something you get from someone else. We’ve been conditioned to believe that love is a feeling we get when someone gives us attention and affection.
The truth is that love is not something you seek to GET from another. . . rather it is something you willingly GIVE. Freely, openly, without strings. Love is a behavior, not so much a feeling. The feeling comes from acting a certain way for those you love, not when someone acts a certain to you.
Unconditional love is loving someone at the highest, deepest levels of who you are and who they are. Regardless of mistakes. Regardless of failures. Regardless of circumstances. It is love without irritation. Love without disappointment. Love without judgement. Without condition.
Love is a gift of the heart and when you love yourself first, unconditionally, you have the strength of heart and mind to give that love to someone else.
This doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you or hurt you or abuse you. It doesn’t mean you condone harmful behaviors. That’s not love. And it’s not unconditional. True, unconditional love knows no hatred. It knows no violence. It knows no limits. It is not angry or harmful. It is pure. It is generous and kind and limitless. It is forgiving.
You know, my ex-husband and I had a very volatile relationship. We fought. We argued. We spent lots of anger on each other. Does that mean we are bad people? No, we aren’t.
What I have to come to realize is that we couldn’t be who needed to be for our relationship because we couldn’t be who we needed to be for ourselves. There were parts of me I kept hidden. Parts of who I am that I denied. Because I was afraid of losing his love. And in the end, the truth is that being open, being vulnerable, loving unconditionally was really the answer. Not hiding.
When you deny yourself – your true self – by wearing masks and not saying what you need to say and hiding your flaws and your imperfections (or what you perceive are your flaws and imperfections) the people who love you aren’t really free to love YOU. They are only loving a shell of who you are.
BEING TRUTH, BEING LIGHT, BEING LOVE requires all of who you are, all the time.
There is no time for hiding. There is no time for playing small. No time for holding anything back. Your mission on this earth requires it.
And anything you want to create, start with love.
If you want to create peace – start with love.
If you want to create honesty – start with love.
If you want to create joy – start with love.
When are you doing what you love and what you desire, your life and your talents are never wasted. Regardless of how “small” or “simple” or “insignificant” what you are doing may seem.
Doing things from a space of love is always a great and worthy endeavor. There is nothing small or insignificant about true, unconditional love.
True, unconditional love:
Moves mountains. Opens doors. Calms storms. Heals all wounds. Dissolves anything that does not look like love.
Love is the strongest force in the Universe.
And the one most worthy of our time and attention.